Fear. It has a way of ruining many things.
We might feel excited about something. Curious about something. Calm about something. And then this little switch goes off in our minds that initiates that little feeling of fear. And it grows, and grows, and grows until the fear sets in and we no longer are looking forward to doing whatever it is we were looking forward to.
Let me share with you a little anagram about fear that will help put it in its place and give you a resource you can turn to the next time you feel fear creeping up on you.
F.E.A.R
False Evidence Appearing Real.
That’s all fear really is. It’s a bunch of ‘evidence’ that your subconscious mind has collected to paint a certain picture of its perceived reality and what’s to come.
You might think that ‘evidence’ is quite powerful – and yes, it can be – but it can often be misleading. In the way your mind uses it and applies it, it’s highly flawed. The reason is because it uses evidence from the past and applies it to your future or it uses a small piece of evidence (a fact) and makes it mean much more than it actually does.
Think about it for a moment. If, in the past, you had an argument with someone at a cinema, your subconscious mind might clock this. It will store this in its files. It will use this ‘evidence’ – basically just a fact that says you had an argument at a cinema – to predict that you might have an argument again in the future if you go to the cinema.
F.E.A.R. might set in. The false evidence is that cinemas are a volatile place where arguments ensue and now you don’t like cinemas. They make you feel uncomfortable or worried. 😉
Now, you and I know this isn’t true. Just because you had an argument at a cinema doesn’t mean it has anything to do with the cinema or that they are bad places, right? This is evidence used in the wrong way and you might be tempted to believe it if you let yourself.
For every time you’ve failed in the past – where failing just means things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to – your mind will be tempted to present you with ‘false evidence’ to avoid it happening again. For protection.
Maybe you had a presentation that didn’t go well and you noticed someone yawning during it. Your mind might pick that up and then use that as evidence that your whole audience was bored, uninspired, disappointed with what you shared. In fact, it will start to spiral and convince you that everyone hated your presentation and maybe even hates you! (All because of the ‘evidence’ of one yawn.)
See how the F.E.A.R works?
Let me remind you that your mind does this from a good and supportive place. It’s not trying to sabotage you. It thinks it’s doing the right thing by protecting you from possible harm. It’s just a little too ‘overprotective’ if you want to think of it this way.
Here’s An Exercise About Fear For You
Try to think back at some of the things you have experienced in the past. What small pieces of evidence have you collected from the past and expanded to mean something that it really didn’t? (Start light, don’t go straight into the most emotionally challenging event!)
Did you have a date where someone laughed at something you didn’t quite understand and then you convinced yourself that they were laughing at you? This might have then grown into the fear that you were undateable, not appreciated, not valued, etc.
See if you can discover some places where a simple piece of ‘evidence’ might have led you to thinking or feeling something that wasn’t actually real or true.
How is F.E.A.R possibly holding you back? How is F.E.A.R creeping into things in life and getting in the way? Where are you drawing conclusions that are based on small facts masquerading as false evidence?
When you begin to see fear for what it is – just false evidence trying to represent something it’s not – you can then start to choose what the real facts are and how to respond in life instead of blindly believing things that might be blown way out of proportion.
In Summary:
The small change → be aware that FEAR is false evidence appearing real
The big impact → you can start to see that when you experience fear, your mind is actually using small and simple facts and making them represent more than they really are
Martina x
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